How to be Mindful

How to create mindfulness

When we engage in rumination, we obsess over things from the past which cannot be changed, or overthink things in the future which have yet to come. Rumination is a bit like a broken record, where our mind becomes stuck playing the same song over and over again. Although rumination is an unpleasant state, mindfulness holds the power to help break this pattern by bringing us back to the present moment. So rather than incessantly thinking about the presentation we have to deliver at work, or the fight we had last night with our spouse, mindfulness allows us to find peace in the present moment. As Thich Nhat Hanh, the Buddhist monk and author teaches us, “The present moment is filled with joy and happiness; if you are attentive, you will see it.”

Mindfulness helps us accept reality

The ancient Chinese philosopher and poet Lao Tzu once wrote, “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow.” Modern research confirms this notion, and supports the idea that it is often our resistance to pain, rather than the pain itself, that
causes the bulk of our suffering. Like quicksand, the harder we struggle against reality, the more misery we find ourselves immersed in. Mindfulness offers us a different path, and enables us to see and accept reality as it is rather than wish it away. Paradoxically, this sort of acceptance actually
enables us to make healthy choices and change our lives.

Tips for Practicing Mindfulness

In just a few pages, we’ll begin reviewing a number of exercises and skills that will enable you to begin incorporating mindfulness into your everyday life. But before doing that, let’s first review a few tips and strategies that can help your practice get off the ground:

It’s OK to keep it short

Especially when you are starting out, feel free to keep your practice short and sweet. Remember, the most important thing is to begin developing a lifestyle of mindfulness, and there’s no wrong place to start. If you can carve out an hour of your day to engage in mindfulness practice, great. But if time is short (which it is in our busy lives), try starting out with ten or fifteen minutes per day and building up from there

Consider both formal and informal practice

As psychologist Christopher Germer points out, mindfulness can be practiced both formally and informally (Germer, 2009). Formal mindfulness meditation refers to when we allot a certain period of time, say thirty minutes, to formally engage in mindfulness practice. Conversely, informal mindfulness meditation refers to taking small moments, as short as a few seconds throughout the day, to fully notice what’s happening around us and within us. Both forms of mindfulness practice can be invaluable, so feel free to experiment with what works best for you and try to incorporate both into your day-to-day life.

Be mindful during your “autopilot” activities

We’ve discussed how mindfulness exercises can be a powerful antidote against our tendency to drift aimlessly on autopilot. Therefore in some ways, there is no better place to start when it comes to practicing mindfulness. Consider the activities in which you often find yourself daydreaming or mindlessly engaged. These provide us with opportunities to turn mindlessness into mindfulness, and to approach them in a different manner. As Marcel Proust once said, “The real voyage of discovery
consists not in seeking out new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

Don’t worry about being “good” at mindfulness

When we are first learning to practice mindfulness, many of us become stuck worrying about whether we are doing it “right,” and can even become frustrated when we feel we aren’t doing a “good job” at being mindful. These sorts of judgments can impede us and sabotage our efforts at cultivating mindfulness. When these sorts of thoughts arise, simply notice them and redirect your attention back to the moment.

Consider taking a meditation class

This is certainly only an optional suggestion, and many people choose not to do this. Though not a requirement, I can personally attest to the powerful experience of immersing yourself into mindful living through either a formal meditation class or retreat. By enrolling in this sort of experience, you’ll find that your skill will accelerate faster and will enable you to harness the many benefits of mindfulness

Find what works for you

The tips outlined above, and the interventions that we’ll turn to next, are merely suggestions based on both the latest research on mindfulness as well as my own clinical experience. You, the individual, are the expert on you. Therefore, I invite you to experiment and test out different practices and approaches in order to find the ones that work best for you.

Mindfulness Exercise; Mindfulness of the Breath

companion. Wherever we are, and whomever we are with, we can always turn to the breath as a means of grounding ourselves in the present moment. Because of this, our breath will be the focus of our first mindfulness meditation. Instructions: Begin by finding a comfortable, peaceful place to sit. Set aside around ten minutes to start with, though you can extend this as you wish in the days to come. Sit down in a manner that’s comfortable, either in a chair or on the ground. Keep your back straight, allowing your shoulders to relax. Close your eyes, or choose a spot on the floor in front of you to focus your gaze.

Begin by taking three easy and gentle breaths in through your nose, followed by slow and steady exhales. With each breath, feel yourself slowing down and becoming more immersed in the
If you notice your mind wandering or your thoughts drifting, simply notice this and return your attention and awareness to your breath. You may notice your mind wandering at many points during this meditation; it’s simply what our mind does. Merely observe this tendency, and without judgment, return your awareness to your breathing.
Bring full attention now to your breathing. As you inhale and exhale, observe where in your body you notice your breath the most. Perhaps it’s in your chest, as you feel it rise and fall with each breath. Others notice their breath most strongly in their nostrils, as the air passes coolly on the way in, and slightly warmer on the way out. Still others notice the breath most clearly in their stomach and abdomen, as it rises and falls with each passing breath. Wherever it is, take a moment to simply notice where the breath is most clearly felt in your body.
Notice how it feels to fully focus on your inhale. As you inhale, notice any particular feelings of tension or strain, and notice the sensation of your lungs and abdomen filling up as you inhale.
Now gently shift your awareness to focus more on your exhale. With each exhale, notice what it’s like to feel your breath passing out through your nostrils. And observe, without judgment, anything that you feel in your body.
For the next few minutes, continue to breathe gently and evenly. Feel the breath as it comes in through your nose, followed by a steady exhale.
Notice what’s happening in your mind. If you notice your mind wandering or your thoughts drifting, don’t judge yourself or react self-critically. Simply notice this, and gently redirect your attention and awareness back to your breathing.
After ten minutes, gently open your eyes and bring your awareness back to your surroundings. Allow yourself to bask in the comfort and tranquility of the present moment.

For beginners in mindfulness, this exercise can either be eye-opening or frustrating. You may have noticed your mind becoming flooded with thoughts or judgments, and that’s okay. It’s our mind’s natural tendency to drift and seek out stimulation, and maintaining focused awareness on the breath
may feel unnatural initially. But through practice and patience, it becomes easier over time. With practice, you’ll even grow to find immense comfort and safety in your breath, which you can turn to whenever you want.